The Ups and Downs

Bonding and attachment are going very well. If William needs something, he comes to either Zack or me. If he gets hurt, he cries and seeks one of us for comfort. He is affectionate with us, yet reluctant to show affection to people he doesn’t know. And his affection seems genuine. None of this is necessarily typical of institutionalized children. We are thankful that God put people in his life that allowed him to grow and mature as much as he has.

But we do have challenges. At first the biggest challenge came from the language barrier, but he now understands most of what we say. He is testing boundaries, though. This is normal for his age, and it may also be that he wants to see if we’ll abandon him if he’s 'bad'. So with that & with the newness of everything, learning to discipline is trial and error. We want him to know that we love him no matter what, but that we do these things to help him to be safe, learn, and grow.

William was in an orphanage for 3 ½ years. He saw the same caregivers, children, room, toys, etc. most of the time. If he left the orphanage it was just to go to the doctor. So he had not received significant sensory stimulation in a long time. At first we didn’t think there was a problem. Looking back, I think he was drawing inward in the midst of the stress of so much new stuff. He is a shy child and he was still being shy with us. He wasn’t ready to show us that he was overwhelmed. But once he loosened up we started noticing patterns.

One or two new events in a day aren’t a problem, but give him more than that and he will get cranky. He’ll be more prone to pout and whine. So now we try to limit the amount of out-of-the-ordinary things in his schedule each day, and it seems to be working!

But for the most part, he is adjusting well. We have minor struggles, but that's part of parenting. We're thrilled and overjoyed to have him in our lives, and we look at each new day as another opportunity to learn and grow as a family.