Help our son... by not helping him

William is doing well adjusting to his new life. We've made huge progress with attachment, and I don't see any of the warning signs of poor attachment or indiscriminate affection. But there are some behaviors we must still reinforce.

Friends and family that are around William want to help him with 'little' things, like making him a snack, tying his shoes, taking him to the restroom, getting him a drink of water, comforting him if he gets hurt, etc. But we need to discourage this. It’s not because he needs to do for himself, but because Zack and I need to give, do, and provide EVERYTHING to facilitate a positive attachment.

We want him to know that Daddy & Mama will provide for his needs and that he can always come to us. He needs to see that we are his primary providers and protectors. If he gets the things he needs from ANY adult, it’s possible that his little mind will see all adults as providers and he’ll start going to anyone for his needs… including strangers.

So please help us out, and don’t be offended if we discourage some of his actions & affections around you or ask you not to help him. The best response to his requests is to say something like, “Go see Daddy” or “Mama will help you with that”.

Bottom line: this is what is best for William. It's not traditional parenting, but it's important that we establish a healthy and appropriate bond. Thanks for helping us show William how great it is to have parents that will always love and care for him!