Is anybody out there?

Not sure if anyone follows this blog anymore, but just in case you watch this one and didn't know we have a new blog...

Come visit us at THIS SITE to see the latest with our family. We have lots going on, including starting our SECOND UKRAINIAN ADOPTION!!!!

Bidding You Ado...

When we originally set up this blog, it was to keep our family and friends up-to-date on adoption progress. Since then, we’ve made some great bloggy friends, created a chronicle of the journey to share with our son, connected with old friends, and hopefully shared some helpful insights to those who are still in the adoption process.

But now the adoption is complete, and Zack and I have decided the time has come to bid the blog farewell. Life is getting more and more hectic every day, and we want to focus as much time on family as possible. Besides that, I’m starting back to school & that will take a good bit of my free time. I’d taken a few months off, but it’s time to hit the books again before I convince myself that I don’t need another diploma :)

For those that are still in process, I pray that God will soon lead you to your children. Ukrainian adoption is not for the faint of heart, but our boy is worth every stress and difficulty we had to endure. Please feel free to email us with any questions you might have about the process.

For those that have already adopted, we pray that God continues to shower His blessings on you and your Ukie Cuties! Thanks for sharing your journeys with us, and for supporting us through a very special e-community.

And to our friends and family that were along for the ride, thanks for your love and support. Please continue to pray for us, that God would show us His path, and that we will always seek Him, both in our parenting and in our lives in general.

Thanks to all of you for joining us on this crazy roller coaster ride. As a parting gift, we’ll leave you with a few recent pictures.

In return, please leave a comment one more time – one last Blog Roll Call for old time’s sake! And please keep in touch (dovefamily@bellsouth.net).

William with his friend Haley

William at Chuck E. Cheese

My 2 Super Men

And our own little Ivan Drago

До Свидания!

4 Month "Metcha Day"

Four months ago yesterday, this precious little guy walked into the room... and into our hearts.

(this is the first photo we ever took of him)

Help our son... by not helping him

William is doing well adjusting to his new life. We've made huge progress with attachment, and I don't see any of the warning signs of poor attachment or indiscriminate affection. But there are some behaviors we must still reinforce.

Friends and family that are around William want to help him with 'little' things, like making him a snack, tying his shoes, taking him to the restroom, getting him a drink of water, comforting him if he gets hurt, etc. But we need to discourage this. It’s not because he needs to do for himself, but because Zack and I need to give, do, and provide EVERYTHING to facilitate a positive attachment.

We want him to know that Daddy & Mama will provide for his needs and that he can always come to us. He needs to see that we are his primary providers and protectors. If he gets the things he needs from ANY adult, it’s possible that his little mind will see all adults as providers and he’ll start going to anyone for his needs… including strangers.

So please help us out, and don’t be offended if we discourage some of his actions & affections around you or ask you not to help him. The best response to his requests is to say something like, “Go see Daddy” or “Mama will help you with that”.

Bottom line: this is what is best for William. It's not traditional parenting, but it's important that we establish a healthy and appropriate bond. Thanks for helping us show William how great it is to have parents that will always love and care for him!

Goal!!

William had his first soccer game on Saturday, and we were quite impressed with his performance. After the 2 practices he'd attended, we were worried that he wasn't really getting the idea of things, but he definitely proved us wrong. Much to our delight, he was very into the game and even scored 2 or 3 goals. But more importantly, he had a great time and is looking forward to more soccer.

Thanks to those that attended his game. He still has 9 games to go, so if there are friends or family that would like to witness the soccer star in action, send us an email and we'll let you know the schedule.

Also, today is the 3-month anniversary of Gotcha Day. I can't imagine not having this kiddo in our lives... he is AWESOME!

Goings On

William continues to love to help around the house. Saturday and Sunday he was eager and happy to help me with the bathrooms and dusting.

I hope I can keep this enthusiasm around for years to come (but I know it's highly unlikely).

Two Sundays ago, our Life Group (Sunday School class) had a 'welcome home' party for us. They presented William with a basket full of toys, and gave us a beautiful photo album and a Target gift card. We went shopping over the past week, and in addition to some necessity items for William, we let him pick out a couple of toys. We still had some money left on the card, and on his way to the doctor on Friday (for his THIRD round of immunizations - poor kid!) he told Zack he wanted to buy a guitar. He loves when Zack gets out his guitar and we sing worship songs, and apparently he wanted to join in on the strumming! So without further ado (sp?), I present William Dove in concert...

Thanks to our Life Group friends for your love, support and generosity!

Zack's also trying to get the Golf Bug to bite... and William seems pretty interested. Guess we'll be buying some left handed kid clubs soon!

50 Stars = Mickey D's!

On Monday night William received Star #50 on his star chart. We told him that we would make the trip to McDonalds on Wednesday night after another important event... his first soccer practice!

So yesterday we introduced him to "organized sports" for the first time ever. I use the word organized loosely because we are dealing with 5 & 6 year old boys here! Zack and I sat on the sidelines and watched, getting up to help explain things to him a time or two. I have to admit I've never been a big fan of soccer. But it was great to finally be one of the parents at a sporting event. And it was awesome when another mom would come up and ask which boy was mine!

By the end of the hour, his cheeks were pink and he was breathing hard, but he had a HUGE smile on his face. As he sat in my chair and changed from his cleats back to his flops, he said, "Mama, no more soccer". What!?! I repeated, no more soccer? He smiled and told me he was tired, adding, "no more soccer today". Then he happily said, "now McDonalds?"

So we made the trek to the greasy fast food haven. He was thrilled to get his Happy Meal toy and eat his beloved chicken and fries, then play on the indoor playground for a few minutes. Zack and I were happy when it was time to leave. We're both trying to limit our intake of fried foods, and that's quite difficult under the glow of the golden arches!

When we got home we made a new star chart. He still has to earn 50 stars, but we changed the goal. Call us crazy, but this time it's Chuck E. Cheese. He's never been so it will be interesting to say the least, and we'll probably go on a week night to minimize the overstimulation (for him and us!). But at least it will be something different, and with a little more variety on the menu.

No soccer practice pics yet - we used the SLR instead of the digital so we'll have to get them developed.

Oh, and today is also a very special day. Three months ago today, a judge in a cold Mariupol courtroom proclaimed us to be the parents of William Hoyt Dove. We don't consider the 21st our gotcha day since we didn't get him that day, but it was a monumental day for our family!

Fernbank Exhibit

If you are in the Atlanta area, I wanted to make you aware of an exhibit at Fernbank Museum of Natural History called Blind/Sight: Conversations with the Visually Inspired. You can learn more about it by clicking HERE. It's a photography exhibition by my friend Billy (the awesome guy who did our family portraits) and his wife Laurie. Billy does amazing work and his photos have a way of really speaking the stories of his subjects.

The exhibit, which is part of Fernbank's In The Dark exhibition, will be on view February 9 through May 4.

Happy Valentine's Day!

This will definitely be our best Valentine's Day ever!

(This photo was taken on February 3rd - the 2 month anniversary of Gotcha Day!)

Routine is Key!

William thrives on routine. He does great with school because it’s part of his regular routine. Unstructured downtime is not necessarily a good thing. He wants to know what he should be doing, and what’s coming up next. Saturdays are sometimes our most difficult days because there is rarely structure or normalcy to them.

If he is tired, even his rest time needs structure. Typically it will mean he can lie on his bed and play a Leapster game, listen to music, or look at books. Or he will be allowed to sit on the sofa and watch a 30-minute show. Right now he likes Bibleman, Batman, or Superman… yes, we live in a superhero world!

Small tasks help a lot. If we’re folding laundry, he helps put his clothes away. When I’m cleaning the bathrooms, he wipes down the sinks and counters. If I’m cooking dinner, he stands on the step stool and helps me (I’ve also learned that this gets him to try new foods more willingly!) During a lot of these things, we’ll talk about the names of items, count things, or discuss the letters that they start with.

We also have to make sure and give him outlets to let off steam throughout the day. He has recess at school each morning and loves it. And when he and daddy get home in the afternoons, they typically spend some time outside. In the evenings, we do things like sock races on the wood floors, “shake your booty” time dancing and being silly with music, or tickle wars.

Our latest way to help with attitude and tasks is his Star Chart. He earns a star each time he brushes his teeth without fussing, makes his bed, helps clean the house, and cleans his plate (again, without complaining or incident). He can also earn stars when he does special tasks or if he is just especially good. For instance, on Thursday his teacher reported that he was very good and even helped clean up without being asked. He loves his star chart and counts his stars numerous times each day, knowing that 50 stars means a trip to Mickey D’s. I have to say, I wish I’d thought to do this sooner because it’s working like a charm!

The Stork is Flying in from China!

Be sure to take a look at Georgia & Jeff's blog... they just posted a picture of their new daughter in China. We are so excited for them!!

Many of you probably remember our friends Jeff & Deanna (missionaries in Germany). Georgia is Deanna's sister.

The Ups and Downs

Bonding and attachment are going very well. If William needs something, he comes to either Zack or me. If he gets hurt, he cries and seeks one of us for comfort. He is affectionate with us, yet reluctant to show affection to people he doesn’t know. And his affection seems genuine. None of this is necessarily typical of institutionalized children. We are thankful that God put people in his life that allowed him to grow and mature as much as he has.

But we do have challenges. At first the biggest challenge came from the language barrier, but he now understands most of what we say. He is testing boundaries, though. This is normal for his age, and it may also be that he wants to see if we’ll abandon him if he’s 'bad'. So with that & with the newness of everything, learning to discipline is trial and error. We want him to know that we love him no matter what, but that we do these things to help him to be safe, learn, and grow.

William was in an orphanage for 3 ½ years. He saw the same caregivers, children, room, toys, etc. most of the time. If he left the orphanage it was just to go to the doctor. So he had not received significant sensory stimulation in a long time. At first we didn’t think there was a problem. Looking back, I think he was drawing inward in the midst of the stress of so much new stuff. He is a shy child and he was still being shy with us. He wasn’t ready to show us that he was overwhelmed. But once he loosened up we started noticing patterns.

One or two new events in a day aren’t a problem, but give him more than that and he will get cranky. He’ll be more prone to pout and whine. So now we try to limit the amount of out-of-the-ordinary things in his schedule each day, and it seems to be working!

But for the most part, he is adjusting well. We have minor struggles, but that's part of parenting. We're thrilled and overjoyed to have him in our lives, and we look at each new day as another opportunity to learn and grow as a family.

Less Me Nay

I'm still working on the post about our 'issues', but in the meantime I had to share a story...

We have a pretty solid bedtime routine now. One of us will help him brush his teeth and go to the bathroom, while the other gets his bed ready and turns on his Veggie Tales worship CD. After the 3 of us say our prayers together, Zack leaves the room and I read a book to William and then get him settled and lights out.

Last night after we finished his book I started to tuck him in. He shot straight up in the bed and and said "Less Me Nay, Mama!". I was puzzled and asked him to repeat it. He said it again, and pointed to his stereo. After the third time, the light bulb went on. He wanted to hear the song "Blessed Be Your Name"!

What a wonderful moment. We weren't sure that he was really paying attention to the songs that we played each night, but apparently he is. He is also quick to notice anything that looks remotely like a cross and tell us "Jesus cross", and he'll also tell us that we're listening to "Jesus music" when his CD is on or when we turn on the radio while making dinner. And on many nights he wants to read from his "Jesus book", aka his children's Bible. One Sunday a couple of weeks ago he came bounding out of Sunday school and proudly told us, "William love Jesus".

In our conversations I've established that he'd not heard of Jesus before coming to America. He claims he's heard of God, but can't really tell me much more than the name (in Russian it sounds like Bog). So for him to be catching on like this is exciting. Between church, school, music, and memory verses, we're trying to immerse him in it to make up for the lack of Christian influence over the past 5 years. He is our gift from God, and we want to do everything we came to bring him up to understand how awesome our God truly is!

Busy!

I've started to post a few times in the past week but never manage to finish. So here is a quick note to at least say, "Yes, we're still here, just busy with life!"

William attended his friend Zachary's birthday party on Saturday, and had a blast. Zachary has a new sister, Madelyn, who was adopted from Ukraine a month before William and is two months younger than he is. It was nice to finally meet Madelyn and to catch up with Kelly & Amanda "post-adoption".

William also went on his first field trip last week - to the Fire Station. He loved it and still talks about it. Everyone was asked to bring treats to put in a basket to take to the firemen. So William and I made a pound cake. He had fun helping and was very proud of the finished product.

I was reading over the posts we've written since coming home, and I am afraid I've made it sound like everything is perfect with our family & adjustment. I know there are those out there that read adoption blogs to learn as much as possible. While we were preparing to travel, I was appreciative of honesty and openness that was shared by adoptive families that went before us, and I want to be honest, too.

I will say that things are going VERY well with our transition. But we do have our minor hurdles here and there. So I'll try to put something together and post it soon about the difficult aspects of adjusting as a family of three!

Twice in one week - this can't be Georgia!

We were happy to see a little snow on Wednesday night, even though it was all gone by noon the next day.

We were really excited to get even more on Saturday, and to have the day to play in it. Hope you enjoy the pics of our fun day!